Slowly Moving Forward

I can’t believe it’s almost the end of March already. I thought 2014 just started? *sigh*

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been just slammed these past few months. It’s not even that bad – I’m just slow. I’ve been making excuses for myself, taking advantage of all Glow Worm and my doctor appointments (between his allergic reactions and my back going out), I’ve dropped most of my house-cleaning (except the bare minimum) and paying attention to the mail (eg: medical bills from all these appointments). Plus, my 2014 Goals were just slammed to the back burner and I ignored them.

Well, I’ve been very productive today. Of course, it’s 1:30am and I am also really screwed tomorrow (today?). But I’ve gotten several monkeys off my back. (Which makes me exceedingly happy even though really, these things are just what normal, responsible adults do on a daily basis. Whatever. I’m still feeling chuffed.) It especially makes me happy in light of my previous post addressing stuff I suck at.

So, because I’m four years old, I’m gonna tell you what I finally did:

1) Cleared out and filed approximately 3-4 months of unopened mail. SO PLEASED and SO RELIEVED. Do you know that this isn’t even the longest I’ve gone without going through my mail? I had at least two years worth of mail in several paper bags that I powered through right before Gamera was born. Or was it Glow Worm? I really don’t remember. All I know is that it was pathetic. And yes. Really. TWO YEARS. (This includes medical bills – I really don’t know how I was that bad. It’s not like we don’t have the means to pay for things. I was just really fucking lazy. *sigh*)

2) Gathered my 2013 tax documents for my CPA appointment today. Now, at least I was a teensy bit better last year and started a folder for tax documents (both a physical one and an electronic one). But, of course, I didn’t download all my 1099s and W-2s until past 11pm. (Hey, Cookie Monster and Gamera didn’t conk out until past 10:30pm and I ranted about it on Facebook and then I watched a well-deserved episode of The Vampire Diaries.) And you know, we have a shit-ton of accounts.

3) Paid a lot of slightly past due/about to be past due medical bills. What? I kinda mentioned this in #1? Pffft. This is so awesome it’s worthy of it’s own mention. (Admittedly, this is a lot like being proud of NOT beating my own children. But I don’t care.)

4) Started back on my housecleaning schedule again. Ok. I didn’t only do it today. And I am still letting a lot slide. But baby steps, ok?

What? You were expecting more? TOO BAD. That’s all I’ve got. I really need a wife.

Things I Inexplicably Suck At

I am good at many of the mundane things in life: doing dishes, tidying the house (for the most part), making sure my children are fed and alive, buying groceries, breathing. You know, the important stuff of every day life. But somehow, I utterly fail out other things. No excuses. Just complete sucktitude. Here they are in no particular order.

1) Paying medical bills. Seriously, why can’t there just be an autopay option? Stop sending me bills. Start auto-billing my credit card.

2) Playing with my children. I don’t know if I was always terrible at it or that I started being terrible the instant I gave Cookie Monster a playmate, but dude. I really don’t enjoy playing with my kids. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I constantly feel as if they should play by themselves and with each other and leave me out of the equation entirely.

3) Brushing teeth. (But flossing, I’m good.) Both for myself and for my kids. I don’t know why.

4) Bath/Bed time routines. Yeah, my kids are cute in the bath but really, I find myself especially short-tempered at night. I feel as if it’s the home stretch and FFS WHY ARE MY KIDS STALLING IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE JUST BATHE AND SLEEP ALREADY!! GAH!!!

5) Remembering things. I originally started thinking about this post while trying to put the kids to sleep. I know I had another item on this list but I just can’t think of it. It’s been at most ten minutes since I first thought about this subject and then started typing.

6) Getting out of Costco and spending under $100. Impossible. In my entire lifetime, I think it’s only happened once.

7) Bringing in the mail. I’m excellent at bringing in my Amazon packages. Utterly pathetic at bringing in the mail.

8) Filing taxes on time. In my entire lifetime of filing for taxes, I have never filed by April 15. EVER.

9) Using everything we buy. Especially produce. I am really bad at remembering to cook real food. I throw away a lot of stuff. *sigh*

10) Doing anything that requires a phone call. (I finally remembered the item!) Scheduling doctor appointments? Calling customer service? Disputing something? Bah! Why can’t everything be done via email/text/online forums? WHY MUST I SPEAK WITH A HUMAN? For some reason, the phone becomes an 800 lb gorilla when I have to use it for anything that is not ordering take out. (Even then, I am annoyed I can’t order online.) It’s 2014. GET WITH IT, EVERYONE.

Welp, there you have it. A non-exhaustive list of the stupid things I’m terrible at. Am I utterly alone in this? Tell me in the comments.