You Might As Well Flush Your Money Down the Toilet As I Mock You: New Baby Series Pt 3

I know. By now you get it. I’m an ass – and not only that, judgmental as well! Since the cat’s out of the bag and well on to making kittens, I might as well tell you what I think are total wastes of money. I’m sure I’m bound to insult pretty much all of you since most likely, you have at least one of these products for your child (if you should have any).

However, I never said this judging should be one way only. I have now given you at least three posts with which to judge me mightily and scoff at my purchases and obviously poor uses of money. So, have at it! If I can’t take it, I shouldn’t dish it out. But until then, here is a non-all-inclusive list of Baby Stuff that I think you don’t need.

Disclaimer: YMMV. Sorry ahead of time if I bruise your delicate feelings. No amazon links because I am feeling particularly lazy today and don’t care enough about these products to link to them.

 

What You Don’t Need

1) Diaper Genie/Champ, etc – although the actual genie/champ is cheap, it’s the replacement bags that are expensive. I would recommend you just get a covered trash can (preferably electronic or a step one for convenience, but that’s not necessary, either). Ours locks in the odors just fine and I use cloth!

2) Wipes warmer – it’s nice, I suppose, but seriously, a total waste of money. Plus, when you’re on the road and use a cold wipe, your kid is gonna be SUPER pissed.

3) Bottle warmer – putting the bottle in a cup of hot water will do the trick.

4) Diaper changing table – really, any flat surface will do. We just use our bed. The diaper changing PAD is useful, though. (Keeps potential spills and accidents off your bed.) Just buy two covers and you’re good to go! With Gamera, our changing pad disintegrated so I just started putting a small towel under her butt. Worked just fine, too.

5) Dreft (or any BABY laundry detergent) – They’re a rip-off. All you need are fragrance free and dye free detergent. I just buy the Costco/Kirkland kind. Wash bedding, clothing, diapers, etc, and all mommy clothes in this.

6) Baby Food Mill (or any BABY food maker) – They’re a rip off. If you have a blender, food-processor or magic bullet, you don’t need anything else.

7) Splat Mat – It sounds good in theory (a mat on the floor to pick up stuff your kid throws down), but it’s just easier to clean the floor. I can see this being useful if you have carpet in your eating area, though. So, I guess, YMMV on this one.

8) Shopping cart cover – It’s lame. One more thing to carry/forget/wash. I get WHY people have it, since it’s comfy and seems cleaner, but totally not worth the hassle. Just wash your kids’ hands!

That’s it. My judgmental list is short and sweet today. (Ok, I guess eight things aren’t exactly a small list, but considering how mean I am in general, this is SMALL. Be grateful!!)

If you’ve managed to steer clear of all these products, congratulations!! You are well on your way to being more awesome like me! YAY!

Your turn, now. What do you think is/was a waste of your money?

Yes, I Totally Am Judging You (and You): New Baby Series Pt 1

I freely confess: I totally judge what people put on their baby registries. Totally. I make snide texts to my mommy friends and we laugh and scoff and mock people who buy baby socks and items I personally find useless and stupid just to show off how brilliant I am with my “years” of collected wisdom. Of course, this is totally unfair. After all, how do you know what you will need if you’ve never needed it before? Even though I, in all my genius, went with a friend who had a kid and she did all my baby registry choosing for me (ie: she told me what I would need and what to get), I still had craptons of stuff I never used and never needed.

So, in honor of Baby3 coming in mid-August (still haven’t figured out what his alias will be, after all, it’s usually based on personality but all I know is that this kid kicks like nobody’s business), I thought I’d have a post on what new parents really need (after surviving two small children).

Disclaimer: Obviously, YMMV and this is my personal opinion. Plus, I think I used an Amazon Affiliate link or two. You’ve been duly disclaimed.

What You Need

1) Crib – preferably one that is convertible to a toddler bed as well (so you don’t have to buy one at a later time). Of course, you can just go straight to a twin bed instead. There is no real need to get one that’s super expensive. Walmart has them for $150 and are still really nice. (Although, I’m not a fan of Walmart but you get the idea.)

What I recommend you splurge on is an ORGANIC baby mattress. That will set you back a good $200+. Mattresses off-gas for their lifetime and since babies are sleeping 90% of their life for so long, I would go with the organic mattress. The beauty of this is that you can use it for multiple babies so the cost factor goes down.

2) Yoga ball – super helpful for calming a baby down and putting them to sleep. We used to have four. Now, after giving most away, we only have one. (Maybe we have another hidden somewhere in a closet.) But whatever. Very useful.

3) Onesies/Footie Sleepers – At least for the first 3 months or so – especially if your baby is a winter baby. Your life will be much easier if you just keep them in PJs. Much easier on EVERYBODY. Once they are a bit older, maybe 3-4 months and are more alert, then you will likely start changing them into more daytime and night time clothes. But otherwise, what’s the point?

4) Burp cloths – I would use very good quality cloth diapers. The cheapo thin ones won’t soak up anything at all.

5) Video Monitor – Ok ok ok, I suppose you don’t NEED it – but once you have it, you won’t want anything else. The best one (after trying several to Hapa Papa’s great annoyance due to high cost), is the Motorola MBP3. Otherwise, audio only monitors are perfectly fine and if your house is small enough, you might not need a monitor at all.

6) Diapers – for newborns and size 1s, they usually have diapers where there is a wetness indicator. GET THOSE. They are SUPER helpful. Once the umbilical cord falls off, you may want to consider cloth diapers. It sounds gross, but it is super easy, saves a LOT of money (initial outlay of about $3-400, but when you consider that our first month of Gamera, I just went with disposable diapers and I already spent over $100 in diapers, that is NOTHING). I have a whole post on cloth diapering if you are really interested in checking it out.

7) Breast pump – if you plan on breastfeeding. They are pretty expensive but can come in handy – especially if you go back to work. If you’re a SAHM, you might not need it as much, but I still pumped milk when my kids dropped a feeding and ended up donating gallons of milk. (Also, breastfeeding is so much cheaper than formula – Formula is $25+ a can. That’s at least a can a week!) Also, less stinky poop! But ultimately, your baby will be fed and healthy and fine regardless of formula or breastmilk.

8) Pack n play – I would use this instead of a bassinet the first few months. It’s cheaper and more portable and useful in the future. Don’t buy the expensive kind. Get the cheapest one (usually around $60). We initially bought three because I thought I would need one at my office and my mom’s house. They were barely used and cost us at least $150 each because we bought the fancy kind. We ended up giving one to my brother, and the fancy one does have a cover that came in handy, but ultimately, the cheapo one we used more. Also, Costco sells pack n plays for cheap.

9) Car Seat – Most likely, you will start off with an infant car seat and base. Any company will do (We used Graco).

Your baby will be in that for at least the first 6 months. After they get too big, you will want to switch to a regular car seat (which is safer). Infant car seats are super handy – especially if you get a travel system (which is a stroller that goes with the infant car seat). You just pick up the car seat, put it on the stroller and go. Just beware that travel system strollers are REALLY HEAVY. They are cheaper than the super nice strollers, but their resale value is lower. So you’ll likely pay $150-200 for the stroller, and then re-sell it for $40.

In retrospect, I would’ve gotten as light weight an infant car seat as possible. I think the lightest weight ones are Maxi Cosi brands. The Gracos and Chiccos clock in at about 25lbs. Add on a 15lb baby and that’s 40lbs you’re carrying on one arm. Not fun.

When the baby is bigger, switch to a convertible car seat. You want to have as high as possible weight limit for rear-facing (they now recommend up to 2 years rear facing). Cookie Monster was rear-facing until he got close to the 40lb weight limit (and not because he hit the height limit). This is because it is much safer to have them rear-facing in case of an accident. Although Cookie Monster’s legs were bent and perhaps he could’ve broken his legs in an accident, I would rather have broken legs than a broken neck! When they get too big for rear-facing, then it “converts” to forward-facing.

These suckers are EXPENSIVE. Wait until they go on sale (either at Amazon or albeebaby.com). I would NOT buy used because you never know if they’ve been in an accident. Once they’re in an accident, the integrity of the car seat is no longer there so don’t risk it.

Also, it is tempting to put the car seat on your Baby Registry. RESIST THE URGE. Mostly because it will be almost a year before you will likely use it and then, you have burned a year and now, you are one year closer to the expiration date. Yes, car seats expire. It really pisses me off. Let’s not get me started on that bullshit. But what can you do? Are your really going to risk your kid not being “safe” in a car seat just because you’re a cheap ass?

10) Strollers – you can go the expensive route or the cheaper route. If you go the cheaper route, just buy the stroller that goes with the infant car seat. Those are usually hefty (25lbs) but have great built in options like cup holders, great baskets, one button close, etc. They’re great but heavy.

If you have two or more kids, then I would fork over the cash for a SUPER nice one. The one we have now is the Baby Jogger City Mini Double Stroller. It can be extremely expensive so I would recommend buying on a great sale, used, or opt for an older version. Obviously, you don’t need that now, but it is 25lbs and awesome.

You can get the single version, too. These are $250 new, but they have great resale value on craigslist. You can probably re-sell the single stroller around $150. (Or you could buy it used.) If you’re not the jogging type, you don’t need to splurge for the joggers.

Another popular kind is the Phil and Ted. Also great re-sell value. Plus, when you have a second kid, you can just buy a kit to add on vs. buy a totally different stroller. But for two kids, the bottom kid gets kinda cramped.

The best site I’ve found for buying strollers, car seats, etc is: albeebaby.com. Sign up for their mailing list and you will get their sales. However, if the sale prices are comparable to amazon, I just go with amazon for the 2 day shipping. The more expensive strollers, you have to buy their accessories (eg: cup holders, bars, car seat holders). But I would dare say it’s worth it on the second kid. Plus, you don’t have to buy their brand of holders.

11) Ergo Baby carrier – Super helpful!! You will need the infant insert for when the baby can’t put their legs around your torso yet. I would also get the teething pads so they end up chewing something soft vs the harder canvas. I would buy used, perhaps. The main cons are that the carrier tends to run warm/hot, and the baby only faces you.

A lot of people use the Baby Bjorn – but that is bad for your back (everyone I know who uses it, their back hurts), and bad for the baby’s spine. But, it is nice because the baby can look out.

Now, again, these are what I think are necessary for a baby (and by necessary, I suppose I more mean supremely useful to have). I guess one doesn’t really need a crib – just a drawer or a laundry basket to put the baby in Benjamin Button style. But you get the idea.

Next week, I’ll post about What is Nice to Have for a Baby and the week after, I’ll post what I think is a total waste of money.

What do the more experienced parents think? Agree? Disagree? Did I forget something that you think is amazing? Tell me in the comments.